Follow the Leader?
by GIR's Infernal Waffles
Summary: When the Skool holds a mandatory dance, Zim and Dib find themselves both partner-less... and so paired with each other for the lesson! So the burning question must be answered: who's the lead? ZADR FLUFF! Oneshot


**(A/N) Yep. I went swing dancing. And so this was born.**

**My other ZaDr fic, "Crossing the Line," is entirely different than this scrap of fluff. So please tell me how well I pulled it off. **

**Unnecessary but useful vocabulary:**

**Closed position- both turned slightly outward, his right hand on her back, her left hand on his shoulder, their free hands clasped in front of them at waist level**

**Open position- held at arm's length, one or both hands clasped**

**BEWARE THE ZADR AND INNUENDOES TO FOLLOW! If you don't like Zadr or object to tame sexual innuendoes, turn back now.**

**EDIT 12/12- J-Jeez... this is... fluffy. 0.0 But I... I like it too much to change it. ^u^; **

**I do not own Invader Zim. If I did, do you _think_ it would be off the air? **

"Since the school board has decided that you all need some joy in your miserable lives," Mrs. Bitters announced suddenly one day, "we'll be holding a mandatory school dance this Friday."

"What's the point if it's mandatory?" a random student shouted, and was promptly ignored.

"Bring a date," Mrs. Bitters said, "or pair up with the other pathetic losers who show up at the dance alone. Dismissed."

Zim, of course, stood briskly and stalked out the door, only to have Dib trot up beside him.

"So Zim," the earth boy said evilly, "who you gonna ask to the dance?"

"No one, earth-stink," the Irken boy snapped. "Zim is above such things."

Dib smirked. "Alright... but it'll be really hard to explain why a 'perfectly normal earth child' would show up to a dance alone..."

... ... ...

"..."

"What was it you told me?" Zim asked innocently. "Oh yes, something about bringing a date... Bwahahaha!"

"Shut up, Zim!" Dib snapped. "I don't see you with anyone, either!"

"Oh Dib," the Irken said chidingly. "I didn't try. You did."

The human looked down, scowling. "Whatever. You're... stupid!"

"Such witty insults as I've come to expect from your swollen skull."

"Children," Mrs. Bitters called, and everyone reluctantly turned to face her and her scarecrow-like partner, who was dressed in an ill-fitting suit. "You'll all be learning swing dance today; grab your partner, and be quick about it."

Dib looked around frantically; Zim did so more calmly. But it soon became apparent that even the fish-toed boy had a date; even the girl with braces had finally given up her doomed crush on Dib and was with someone else. Slowly, somewhat horror-struck, they turned back to each other.

"Zim! Dib!" came Mrs. Bitters shrill voice. "If there's no one else, partner up with each other! Decide now who will lead and who will follow!"

Amid the snickering of their classmates, the two enemies turned to each other awkwardly.

"Lead? Follow?" Zim asked, irritated. "What in the Tallest is the witch talking about?"

Dib narrowed his eyes. "Which of us will is the guy and who'll play the girl," he explained. "_I'll_ lead."

"Nonsense!" the Irken objected. "What gives you, the inferior earth-stink, the idea that _you_ can lead an Irken invader such as Zim?!"

"You don't know a thing about earth dance," Dib sneered, suddenly seeing a bright side to the situation. "Plus... I'm taller."

Zim was about to object, but Mrs. Bitters' sharp "Now!" made him wince. "Into closed position! Any inappropriate touching and/or groping of any kind will he _severly_ punished!"

Dib obediently stepped into the position, although he shuttered as he touched his Irken enemy, taking the thin green hand and placing his other hand between the alien's shoulder blades. Zim stiffened, shooting the human a death glare and baring his teeth.

"Now ladies... and Zim... sit back into your partner's hand; you'll need to let them lead you."

Zim _didn't_ move, nor did he relax so much as an inch. Dib didn't force the issue, already unnerved enough by the alien's hand on his shoulder.

"And now... boys, step out with your left foot; girls (and Zim) with your right. Rock back, step, one-two-three and one-two-three, rock, step. Repeat!"

Dib furrowed his brow, irritated by how his legs wouldn't do what he wanted them to; Zim rolled his eyes, amused by the other's confusion.

"Having trouble, human?" he asked playfully, doing the basic step as if in his sleep. Dib narrowed his eyes but didn't reply for fear of breaking his own concentration.

"Now let's move on," Mrs. Bitters said, she and her partner demonstrating a simple inward turn. "Think you ill-coordinated children can handle that? Leads, tell your follow where you want her to go with your hands; follows, let him lead."

"No pressure," Zim said with a smirk.

"Sh-shut up!" Dib said and- to his credit -did try... but didn't quite succeed. He managed half the turn before he drew a blank, their arms tangled in such a way that trapped Zim's back to his chest.

"Tell me what to do," the alien said teasingly. "Tell me what to do with your hands, little human."

Irritated and blushing furiously, Dib thrust his partner away roughly. "Th-this is stupid! I-I can't lead an alien!"

"Maybe you just can't lead!" a random student called, and the crowd snickered. Mrs. Bitters hissed to bring the class back to attention.

"Beautiful, just... repulsive. Now let's try this: the turn you just did, open position, rock, step, and puuull the girl (or Zim) towards you, pass each other, and back into basic. Got it? I hope so, for your sakes."

Dib was staring in open-mouthed confusion at the display; Zim was smirking.

"Zim's got it," he said smartly. "What about the Dib-thing?"

"S-sure..." the human said, although unconvincingly. He flinched at the shrill call of "5, 6, 7, 8!" and then started clumsily, managing to pull Zim through the first turn and into open position; then he stalled as he began to pull the Irken towards him, though whether from honest confusion or just reluctance to pull his enemy closer was debatable. Zim, both irritated and amused, gave a powerful flick of his wrist, drawing the startled human in and almost knocking him off his feet, the two of them ending up practically face to face.

"Is that what you meant to do, Dib-monkey?" he asked, and the human thrust him away.

"N-no! I-I mean, yes, but... we were supposed to go back into basic!"

"Tell me with your hands, not your voice," Zim said lightly, unaware of just how sexual that sounded.

Fuming silently, Dib half-shoved Zim back into closed position, holding the alien possessively (obviously overcompensating). Mrs. Bitters next words, however, stole away his enthusiasm.

"Alright, adequate. Let's try that much with music."

The music came on, and suddenly Dib froze up. It was only Zim's chuckling that got him moving, albeit stiffly, and eventually he coaxed the Irken's body into the awkward movements. They both came out of it intact, though Dib was flustered and Zim was trembling with suppressed laughter.

"Now," Mrs. Bitters announced calmly, "we'll be dancing for real. Oh, and all disgrace for your horrid performances goes to the lead."

Dib turned an odd shade of white, and Zim snickered. "Foolish earth monkey."

"Shut up, Zim," Dib snapped, unconsciously pulling the alien closer as he marked the steps in place. The Irken rolled his eyes.

As soon as the music started, Dib began to dance... and began to fail. Zim let him fail, too, allowing himself to be pulled into awkward half-turns and clumsily colliding with the human when he was pulled in too weakly or too roughly. Eventually, however, he got tired of such things.

"Here, earth-monkey," he said with a grin, hand slipping into the small of Dib's back and turning the boy out, raising their joined hands and allowing the human to slide gracefully back into basic beside him. Though still technically in the lead's position, Dib was wide-eyes and flustered.

"Wasn't that what you were trying to do, worm-baby?"

Shaking his head to clear it, Dib glared down at the Irken boy. "_I-I_ lead, _you_ follow!"

Zim shrugged. "Whatever the Dib-thing says."

Frustrated, Dib thrust Zim out and into open position, then pulled him into the subsequent turn. That went well enough, though on the rock-step that was supposed to follow Dib stumbled, and instantly the Irken boy stepped back into control. The thin green hand that found the small of his back stopped Dib from falling, then spun him outward in a startling turn. The only reason he didn't lose his balance was Zim, appearing once again beside his partner in time to catch him, drawing his now-pliable body into a half-embrace, then flipping him out again. Their arms stretched between them, then the human snapped back as if elastic; then he found himself tucked close to Zim's chest, the Irken (somehow or other) suddenly leading.

"B-but...!" he started to splutter, but was cut off as Zim urged him into another twirl, then swept him into something like an embrace, hands finding the human's hips before he was gone again, leading his partner in an increasing complex series of twists and twirls.

By the time he found himself cradled in a basic step once again, Dib was dizzy with exhilaration, a somewhat dreamy smile in his face.

"So the Dib-human likes being led," Zim crooned in his ear, and the boy almost managed to snap back to attention. Then, of course, he found himself inches from the floor in a dangerous dip, then pulled back up and held close to the narrow green chest in a surprisingly tender motion. "Zim likes leading him."

"We never speak of this," Dib growled, though his voice was faint. Zim grinned, seeing the gaping crowd over the human's shoulder.

"Of course. But just say it, come on."

Dib flushed, the Irken's sensitive skin registering the rise in body temperature. "Zim, I-I..."

"Yes, earth-monkey?" the alien urged, leading his partner in one more lazy turn before bringing the human back to his chest. "You...?"

"I think I might love you, Zim."

The admission was hushed but audible, and not at all what Zim had been expecting. The alien stilled, and the whole dance floor- already quiet -fell flawlessly silent.

Then the Irken was chucking.

"Victory..." he laughed softly, his grip tightening on the human. "Victory... Victory for Zim!" With a sudden and surprisingly possessive movement, he thrust Dib away and leaned up, kissing the shocked earthling on the lips. Eyes suddenly wide, Dib was reminded that they _weren't_ quite as alone as he had thought they were, and shoved at Zim with panicked, jerky motions.

"Zim...!" His voice was muffled as the Irken forced him to the ground, and he squeaked as he spotted Mrs. Bitters approaching. "Zim, get off me!"

"Forget about the humans," the Irken urged, wrestling his tongue into the other's protesting mouth. "They're... unimportant."

With one final shove, Dib managed to get the alien off him, sending the thin green form skidding across the floor. Then the human was running, bounding through the laughing or applauding students as Mrs. Bitters followed him, shrieking with chaperone-rage. Zim stood crossly, brushing himself off; he gazed after the escaping human with a sadistic style of fondness, chuckling softly.

"Yes... victory for ZIM!"

**(A/N) Reviews are deducted from Dib's detention time. Please donate. :) **

**PS The next chapter of my ZaDr fic "Crossing the Line" will be out tomorrow! I would love it if you would drop by and check it out!**


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